Crushed
by xXxSexyZexyxXx
Summary: You either did the crushing, got crushed, or watched somebody else suffer from said crushing. Little known fact? It sucks to be in all three positions, and, lucky us, that's how we were. M. SoRoku/etc.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hello, lovelies! I bet you noticed that this is my first story in about 2 years… and for that, I'm sorry :c I'm deleting all of my previous uncompleted works because I have no inspiration and no time to finish them all, and frankly, by this time I don't even remember the plot. Sorry! :c Anyways, I found this little ditty on my computer, and I actually want to continue this. This is sort of from personal experience, so I think I'll actually finish it! And again… I'm so, SO deeply sorry that I took so long D: I hope you guys forgive me! ;A;_

Summary: Being 17 wasn't easy. No one respects you, your parents pick fights, and hormones fuck you over at every chance they get. How was Roxas supposed to find his way to happiness? Maybe friendship could lead him through it.. or maybe more? SoRoku/ AkuRoku/ SoRiku and more!

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: Do people really even need this thing anymore?

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

"Roxas… Roxas… Hello, Earth to Roxas!" A snapping in front of my face brought me to my senses.

"Damn, Sora, what do you want?" I looked at my best friend in irritation. His cerulean orbs were clouded with confusion.

"What on Earth has you so distracted, boo?" I laughed at his nickname, giving him a teasing shove.

"I think you know what's distracting me." I looked over to the tall, handsome redhead working behind the counter at my workplace. Sora's eyes followed my own and I was given a frown in response. He sighed very loudly; that was just like him—making a scene.

"Roxas, dear, when will you learn?" I scowled at him. What he was referring to was the handsome man's age. I always fall for the guys that are either too bad for me or too old, or, in most cases, both.

The guy's name was Axel, Axel Lea Davidson. He had the most gorgeous, long, spiky, red-flame hair, these entrancing green eyes, tiny tattoos on his face, and the hottest body I've ever dreamed of looking at. I was crushing on him so hard that it killed me, and Sora was the only person that I'd ever told. Axel was 21, and this caused a problem. Why? Because I'm only 17. Sora really didn't like the scenario, and frankly, neither did I. It made it even worse for me that this Axel had a girlfriend. Not only was he too old, but he was also taken AND straight. That just makes my life so much more enjoyable…

"When will I learn what, exactly?" Sora looked at me with the most annoyed expression. If I didn't know he was serious, I would laugh at him.

"He's too old for you! Too bad for you! What will your parents think?" I groaned in exasperation. I knew he was right; he always was. Damn him and his accuracy.

"You know they'd just skin me alive and feed me to the rats is all" I said with a sarcastic grin. He laughed and proceeded to punch me in the shoulder. I smiled at him, and then I just so happened to make eye contact with Axel. I stopped smiling and immediately turned red, looking away in the process. He sent me a gentle smile before I broke that brief eye-lock.

I hated that I worked with him. Well, I mean not really, but you know—I can't escape him. It's like he's everywhere I go. He's in my thoughts, with me at work, and in my fantasies… It's all too much. It's like an overload of sexy. And I know one might think that isn't a bad thing, but trust me—it is. Very much so, it is.

Sora finished whatever he was doing and decided we should leave work. I sighed, picking up my shit and heading to his car. We got in his sky blue Taurus and made our way to his house.

Now, Sora wasn't an average guy, and I guess that's where I'm lucky. He has a nice family, a nice car, and a way-better-than-just-nice house. His house was like a freaking mansion, which is one of the two reasons I go to his house so much (the other being that I love him to death. He is my best friend, after all).

We went inside to his spacious room and lay down on our backs on the carpeted floor, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Rox?"

"Mm."

"Why do you like that Axel so much?"

I pondered for a moment. "Well… He's funny, and nice, and sweet, and attractive, and smart, and… interesting. Even if he is straight, it's like… he's so… I can't describe it very well. Sorry." I ended that with a dejected and confused frown to the ceiling. Sora rolled onto his stomach and looked at me with sincere concern.

"Roxy. You know I love you, yeah?" I looked to him and nodded. He smiled.

"I hope… I hope things work out for you."

I frowned at what I thought to myself after his comment. _I hope they go right too—for once._

"Yeah, me too. Thanks, Sor."

We ended up watching some Friends and laughing ourselves to sleep that night. He told me he dreamt of saving the world from ninjas that morning when we woke up. All I seem to remember from my sleep was Axel.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Another day, another chapter. I'm trying to commit here, guys. I'd appreciate your love and support and REVIEWS. That'd be nice :D I think the last chapter was WAY too short… let's see how long I can make it, ne? Enjoy!_

_Edit: I got a really nasty anon review telling me how much of a bitch I was for saying this was SoRoku and filling it with AkuRoku, that I was "insensitive" to my readers. Look—It's GOING to end up SoRoku, I promise. This is going to be a very long fic, and I have it almost completely planned out. I know what I'm doing, so just read and see what happens, ok? No need to get an attitude. Just so you know c:_

Summary: Being 17 wasn't easy. No one respects you, your parents pick fights, and hormones fuck you over at every chance they get. How was Roxas supposed to find his way to happiness? Maybe friendship could lead him through it.. or maybe more? SoRoku/ AkuRoku/ SoRiku and more!

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: Do people really even need this thing anymore?

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

Work started early in the morning, and I was tired as fuck. Axel wasn't here today, and I didn't know if he'd show up. I sighed, thinking about this crush on him as I swept the store in a daze. Why was it I liked Axel so much? I thought back to a conversation that Sora and I had a few nights ago. He asked me about Axel, and my taste in men in general. He was playing Devil's Advocate, which I hate him doing. It riles me up, and he knows it.

Anyways, this conversation has got me questioning a few things lately. I sighed recalling what he said.

"_Hey, Rox?"_

"_Yeah, Sora?" I looked to the brunette with a bored expression. He asked a ton of questions, and I was so tired tonight. I just wanted him to shut up for once._

"_Well, why do you like Axel?" I groaned. Not this shit again._

"_Dammit, Sora, you ask me this all the time." He frowned._

"_Just here me out, bro. I mean, maybe you don't REALLY like HIM, you know?" I looked at him, confusion and anger etching my features. What the fuck was he babbling about? I opened my mouth to retaliate, and he cut me off before I could protest._

"_Now, wait a minute before you bite my head off! Just think a little, ok? I'm just prodding in your mind a bit, ok?" I sighed loudly before stuffing my face into a pillow._

"_Fine, Sora, just hurry up. I'm tired, and I have to work tomorrow." I smiled, knowing I'd see Axel then._

_Sora rolled to his side to get a better look at me. I saw him in deep thought from the corner of my eye._

"_Well, have you ever thought that you only like the idea of liking Axel? You might just be, well… lonely…" I gaped at him. Was he serious?_

"_I mean, well, Roxas. You've been going on and off with so many people lately that maybe you just want someone new and exciting. And it scares me, you know? I want you happy, but you just seem… desperate."_

The word "desperate" rang in my ears and made me wince. Could he be right? I mean, Axel is a fucking god. But he might be completely right—I know nothing about this guy except that he's hot and likes indie music, and I HATE indie music. Freaking hipsters…

I lazily put up the broom and dustpan and went on getting the store ready for opening. Today was going to be a long ass day. I hope Axel actually shows up. Maybe then I'll get to hold an actual conversation with this heavenly creature I'm so fond of.

It was about twelve in the afternoon when Axel showed up for work, four hours after I'd already been there. I only had an hour and a half left to talk to him about random shit to see if Sora was right or not. He walked behind the counter and over to the cashier to get ready for business. I caught his eye, and he smiled at me, making my face heat up. Damn, he's sexy.

"Hey, Axel! How are you?" I inwardly winced. How fucking lame, Roxas. Next you should ask about the damn Yankees.

He flashed a grin anyways and replied, "I'm fantastic. How are you? Have ya been busy all morning?"

I groaned, leaning on the counter. "Hell yeah, man. I can't feel my damn ankles. Xemnas has had me stocking shelves all morning. Fucking cock…" He laughed at my pain and I laughed along with him. He had a nice laugh… so far, so good. I still didn't know him, though, so I prodded further.

"So, Ax, I've noticed we barely talk anymore, which sucks. I wanna know my friends here, you know? Like, for instance, uhm, can I have your number? It'd save me the trouble of embarrassing myself asking you a bunch of dumb shit I wanna know about you." I turned red in embarrassment anyways, and I could feel the heat radiating from my body. He laughed at me, thinking I was completely joking, thank God.

"Yeah dude. Remind me when you get off and I'll give you my cell number, ok? We can talk all the time," he winked. I gaped at him. This sexy motherfucker winked at me! He winked at ME, Roxas fucking Strife! Holy shit!

I turned even redder, if possible, and looked at my cell phone. I sighed happily.

"Actually, my time is done here. Take some receipt paper and write it down, would ya?" He smiled at me and complied, giving me his number.

"I'll text you tonight, ok?" I said. He nodded, and I drove home. The drive seemed to have happened in a quick blur. I couldn't contain my excitement. Fuck, I couldn't wait to shove this in Sora's face.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Here is the next installment :D I think I might set a day of the week where chapters come out… what do you think?_

Summary: Being 17 wasn't easy. No one respects you, your parents pick fights, and hormones fuck you over at every chance they get. How was Roxas supposed to find his way to happiness? Maybe friendship could lead him through it.. or maybe more? SoRoku/ AkuRoku/ and more!

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: I own Square Enix, just like I have a million dollars; I have no money, so…

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

When I got home, I immediately added Axel's number to my contact list. Knowing he was at work, I texted Sora. It read, "Hey Sora! Guess what happened to me today?!"

I waited a while on my laptop, editing a video for my probending tournament*. It was an hour later when I received a text from Sora finally. "_What happened? And sorry, I was with Riku all day so I didn't have time to answer you ):"_

I rolled my eyes. I smiled, texting the reply to my best friend, recalling the memory of Axel giving me his number. "Axel gave me his number! Well, I mean I asked for it… but still! This is awesome! Now I can text him all the time and eeeek!" I sent it, and a while later Sora replied back. He seemed irritated.

"_Whoa, ok. Uhm sooo.. what have you been talking about then?" _

"Nothing.. he's at work so I haven't talked to him yet."

"_Oh, ok. Well, I've gotta go. I have chores and shit. I'll see you tomorrow ok? Bye Roxy! ;P"_

I frowned. I had intended on Sora being excited for me, but here he was being a bummer. Sighing, I threw my phone to my bed. I got back on my laptop and tried making a video, but I had no concentration. My news to Sora didn't have the expected results. What was his problem? Was he mad at me for trying to rub my crush in his face, like I was right? Irritated, I growled and flopped onto my bed. I didn't want Sora mad at me. But maybe he wasn't mad; he said he'd still see me tomorrow, right? Right—so no worries. I pulled the covers up to my chin and curled up in them, drifting to sleep thinking of bright red hair…

When I woke up, it was a little after eleven. I groaned, getting out of bed begrudgingly. Yawning, I followed the daily routine of shower, clothes, food. When I went upstairs to the kitchen, a certain brunette was waiting for me. Shocked, I raised my eyebrows and stammered.

"Dude, what the fuck? I've been calling you all morning. Did you forget about me?" he teased. I rolled my eyes in fake annoyance.

"I was sleeping, moron. What, you couldn't wait to see my beautiful face? Is that it?" I smirked and Sora turned red with a scowl.

"No! That's not it! I just thought you forgot about our plans was all," he looked away, embarrassment plainly staining his face.

"Ha! Ok, then, bro; whatever." I went to the kitchen, fully intending on eating some waffles. I looked to my best friend. He seemed to be spacing out. I sighed, clapping my hands together in his face. He jumped in alarm, then proceeded to punch me in the arm.

"DUDE! Not cool, Roxas!" I laughed whole-heartedly.

"I was going to ask if you wanted some waffles, dork!" I play-pushed him and he smiled. There was the old, familiar Sora.

"Duh! You know how I love my food!" We shared a laugh and started eating some nice fluffy waffles. I looked to Sora, contemplating asking him about Axel.

"So, Sora… I have a question," I started. He raised his brow, "Yes?" he drawled.

"Uhm, does me talking about Axel make you mad? You seemed all weird yesterday." His face became a tad stony, seriousness clouding his cerulean eyes.

"No, I just had a long day yesterday. I didn't mean to offend you," he laughed airily. I eyed him suspiciously. He sure was acting weird lately.

"Anyway," he said, "tell me about yesterday! Like, was Axel all over you with his number? Did he make kissy faces at you, hm?" He fluttered his eyelashes and made the dumbest kissy face I've ever seen. I laughed a big boisterous laugh, grabbing my stomach.

"No, idiot! I just asked for it, like an idiot. You should'a seen me! I was acting like a total 'tard!" He laughed at me, and we continued to goof off all morning.  
_

"So," Sora began, "I have a really random question."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes?" I drawled.

He kind of frowned before smiling, as if he was faking it. "What would you think if I chased after our dear old friend Riku?"

I blinked at him, a little shocked. "Riku?" I asked. He nodded.

"Since when were you interested in Riku?" I frowned. Sora never, ever, ever kept secrets from me. I never even knew he liked Riku as more then friends. I pointed that out to him, and he breathily chuckled.

"Well, I mean, it was only recently. It's not like I was keeping it from you or anything, I just never found the time to say anything I guess." Sora looked into the distance over my shoulder spacing out.

"Well," I began, "go for it, man. I'll have Axel, and you'll have Riku. It'll be awesome!" I suddenly got excited, and I barely registered his scowl. "We can, like, double-date!"

He rolled his eyes at me, smirking faintly. He got up and held his hand out for me to take. I took it and got on my feet, looking at him for some kind of retaliation.

"Hey, Rox?" I quirked my head a bit.

"Yes?"

He smirked, a devious twinkle in his eyes. I shivered, having never seen such a dangerous look on my best friends face. If he wasn't my best friend, I would think it was sexy.

"We haven't smoked any cigarettes in forever." My eyes dilated at the thought of sweet, wonderful tobacco.

I laughed, "I just smoked this morning, actually."

He crossed his arms at me, saying "Yeah, but not with _me _you didn't. Let's forget talking and just _chill._"

I nodded, walking out of my house behind him to find someone who could buy for us.

We were on top of the clock tower, puffing away and letting the smoke drift into the warmth of the radiating sunset. I looked over to Sora. His face was troublingly blank and spaced out. I frowned at him, thinking about what could be wrong with him. He didn't say anything, just took one drag after every exhale. I bumped him in the shoulder with my elbow, studying the face that turned to me.

He smiled faintly and started speaking, finally. "Hey, Rox?"

I smiled back. "Yeah?"

His smile left him as he turned to the sunset and dropped his cigarette over the ledge, my own following suit.

"Thanks, you know."

I knit my brow together, looking at him, trying to understand what he was thankful for.

"What do you—" He stood, his stony face staring into the sun**. He seemed to snap out of his stupor and finally turned to me gleaming.

"Race you to your house, freak!" I smiled at him and ran behind him down the steps.

"No fair, cheater!" Our laughed filled the empty corridor, mixing together in harmony.

_**This is in reference to KH, in the beginning with Kairi and Sora. Who picked this up?_

_So, Sora is depressed and spacey. But why? I'll let you guys find out soon enough!_

_Also, I'm sorry if underage smoking bothers anyone. I wanted these two to seem devious instead of innocent little babies. They're 17 anyways, so it shouldn't matter much XD_

_I hope everyone enjoyed this new installment! If you did… please REVIEW!_


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: This chapter will be in Sora's POV Barely any Roxas will be in this chapter. Warning, a depressed Sora is in store. _

Summary: Being 17 wasn't easy. No one respects you, your parents pick fights, and hormones fuck you over at every chance they get. How was Roxas supposed to find his way to happiness? Maybe friendship could lead him through it.. or maybe more? SoRoku/ AkuRoku/ and more!

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own anything, just my thoughts, which are only apparently worth a penny.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

Most people didn't believe in fate. Most people didn't believe in destiny, and dreams, and wishes. Most people don't fall in love with their best-friend-from-birth. Most people aren't me. Roxas's friendship, since puberty—or really, before then—has grown into something most people would find disturbing, sad, or strange. But I don't really care what anyone else thinks. No one's opinion except Roxas's matters to me. Looking back, actually, I think I remember the moment I fell in love with him.

It was a blistering cold evening in the city, and Roxas and I were about eight years old. It had started to snow, and Roxas only had a flimsy fleece jacket on. I was the smart one for once and was decked out in gloves, a scarf, toboggan, rain boots, and one of those ridiculously gargantuan jackets that no one ever really wore except little kids. Freezing his ass off, I presume, he started sneezing and sniffling while I, the smart one, was trying to figure out how to make him feel better. An idea struck me, and a grin crept onto my face.

"Roxy," I said to him, "I know how to make you all cozy like me!"

He turned to me, large blue eyes staring at me. "How?" he asked me. His nose was red, cherry red, and dripping everywhere. I remember thinking that was disgusting and cute at the same time. I just smiled and took off my jacket, and my hat, and my scarf. He frowned in confusion at me until I handed him my stuff. Then, the moment where I fell in love: it was one of those out of body, out of mind experiences. Most people would have found this moment extremely unimportant, unnoticeable. But like I said: most people aren't me.

I handed him my things, and there it was: a smile broke his face for only a split second, and then rosy cheeks stained burgundy and his blue lips quivered. My smile faltered, and in that instance, he cried. Roxas clenched his eyes shut, covered his face, and wailed. Panicked, I grabbed him by the shoulders.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" I shook him a little bit, because I was scared. My tiny 8-year-old mind had convinced itself that Roxas had gone into a frostbitten-frenzy, or a coma or something (I guess I obviously had no idea what a coma was). He sniffed, and hiccupped, and uncovered his face.

"If I t-take y-your things, y-you'll be c-cold, S-S-Sora!" I smiled a sad smile, the kind you gave when your heart clenched, or when—in my case—you fell in love.

"Roxas, don't you know? I'm the almighty Sora! I can never get sick, or be cold, or anything like that!" I hugged him and forced my stuff into his chest. His crying stopped, and he wiped the tears away from his face.

"You m-mean it?" he said. I chuckled and scratched the back of my head, a habit I still fall into whenever I'm nervous or lying or embarrassed or all three.

"Duh!" I exclaimed. He laughed and finally put on my coat over his, and my nervousness finally subsided after I realized he'd be ok.

Needless to say, by the time we got home I had nearly frozen to death, Roxas's hand holding mine being my only warmth. The next day we were both sick with colds, and I remember Roxas punching me for lying to him.

Seeing him so at loss, and torn, and crying _for me_—I guess it triggered something in me that day, because looking back on it, it changed everything. Subtle changes, sure, but changes nonetheless; we seemed connected by the hip since then.

But now… now he had someone else, many other someones. I was just Sora, his old best friend, and I hated that fact. I wanted to be _his _Sora, his best friend, the only one he needed to be happy.

Most people would call that selfish; most people _aren't me._ Most people don't understand that I don't have the kind of heart Roxas did that day—the heart he still has today. I want him, oh god, I want him so badly it hurts. But guy after guy gets in my damn way, and I… Fuck.

Going out back of my house, I lit up the cigarette I'd be thinking about for the past hour. The bittersweet nicotine flooded my brain. I became lightheaded easily and forgot about the pain of Roxas, the love of Roxas.

My phone lit up my jacket pocket, and I perplexedly looked at the screen, cigarette held in my left fingers. It was Riku. I sighed, ignoring him, and quickly guided the cigarette back to its home in between my lips.

Riku was my other friend aside from Roxas; he wasn't my _best friend_—only Roxas cold uphold that title. Riku was a blonde-almost-silverette college kid I met about 4 years ago. He was a freshman while I was an eight-grader*, and me only being 13 thought that was a badass thing to be able to say about yourself: "Hey, I have a high school friends and I'm only, like, 13." In any case, Riku was the guy I told Roxas I was interested in. Sure, Riku was hot, funny, nice, etcetera, but he wasn't who I liked. I only said that to Roxas so he'd think I actually had a love life, and also so I could talk about boys for once with him (even if the only boy I ever wanted to talk about was him).

I flicked my cigarette butt to the wet grass and headed back inside. It wasn't long before my mother yelled for me. I sighed, wondering what I could possibly have done to set her off.

"Sora!" she screamed, as if I wasn't right there, able to hear her perfectly fine.

"Yes, I'm right here." I muttered, trying very hardly to keep the disdain from my voice.

Her icy stone-cold blue eyes, eyes that were a shade of blue so cold they were almost white, bore into my face. "Son, this is the last time I'm going to tell you," she paused.

"Yes?" I asked her. She uncrossed her arms and pointed a finely-manicured finger at me.

"When I tell you to do the dishes, I expect them done that instant! You hear me?!"

I sighed, "Mom, it's Selphie's turn—" She cut me off.

"Did I say I gave a damn whose turn it was?" I gulped. This woman would surely be the death of me.

"That's what I thought. Now hurry it up! Fuck!" I turned away, a sad scowl quivering on my face. It was hard to believe the wonderful, lighthearted woman that used to be my mother was replaced with this sadistic bitch after my dad left. After about 6 years of him gone, I realized a long time ago why he left; she was Satan-reincarnate when she drank, which was from sun-up to sun-down.

After I finished with that, I went back to my room downstairs, hastily shutting and locking my door. I plopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I wondered what Roxas was doing while I was suffering here alone.

My phone lit up once more that night, and, speak of the devil, it was Roxas. I smiled and read the message he sent me.

"_You have any plans tonight, say, around 2 in the morning?"_

I laughed, replying "No sirree. Why?"

"_Meet me at the clock tower then**. Big news!"_

And that was all he wrote. I asked no questions, just replied a simple 'ok' and waited for the aforementioned 2 AM to come rolling around.

_Ok, so here it is. It isn't much, but it's something. I tried to show you Sora's home life. It sucks, really badly. I know this case wasn't too bad, but you'll hear more news about why his mom is soo evil. I hope you guys are liking this tory… if you are, review!_

_*= ok, so I may have said before that Roxas and Sora are juniors, and if I did, I totally meant to say they were seniors. They'll be 18 soon; Riku is 19._

_**= Imagine that the boys live right in the center of a Twilight Town-esque town. The clock tower would be about a 5 minute walk for Roxas and about a 15 minute walk for Sora. The boys live about a 25 minute walking distance from each other._


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: This chapter will be in Sora's POV. I got a lot of people tell me they love him XD so you're in luck! I'm in a shit mood so I'm sorry in advance if this turns out badly._

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own anything, just my thoughts, which are only apparently worth a penny.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

I sprinted to the clock tower once the clock on my bedside table blinked 2:00. The cold air of the night* stuck to my skin and the air rushing from my mouth was visible in the pale moonlight. I could only think of Rx=oxas, and what _Big news _was supposed to mean. I remembered the last time we were up here that he had "big news," seriously big, to tell me. We were 15, so two years ago.

_I remembered climbing the steps quicker than usual, my strides so long that my calves ached in exhaustion from climbing the 6 flights of stairs to the top. I was worried; Roxas rarely called me up here in the late hours of the night unless it was super important. I finally made it to the outside, a lone Roxas sitting near the edge with his head in his hands. The moon was full, I recall, and the cicadas were screaming in the background._

"_Roxas," I gasped, searching for not only air, but also for an answer._

_He looked at me, doubt and anxiety and fear etched on his features. I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion._

"_Roxas," I continued, "what's wrong? Are you okay?" He smiled a bit before looking away into the night sky. I moved to sit next to him, looking into the distance with him._

_He broke the silence. "Sora," he started, "I have something to tell you, and I hope you'll still be my friend." He finally looked at me, tears in his eyes. _

"_I need you, Sora. Seriously—you're my best friend for life. Take that into consideration, please."_

_My voice caught in my throat. He was scaring me, and I told him so._

"_Just tell me, Rox. I bet you're freaking over nothing," I said._

_He took a breath before letting it out. "I… I'm gay, Sora. I just realized it, and I don't know what to do. So I told you." _

_I blinked once, then twice, then finally let go of the breath I'd unknowingly been holding._

"_Roxas." He looked to me, and I just noticed the tears streaking his beautiful face. I hugged him suddenly, startling him._

"_Sora? You… You don't hate me?"_

_I shook him. "How in God's name could I ever hate you?!" He laughed a bit before pulling back and wiping his eyes. _

"_I don't know. I just thought—"_

"_Well you thought wrong. I'm your _best friend, _Roxas. I'd never, ever hate you." He cried some more, and we hugged some more, and I finally laughed out loud._

"_What?" he sniffed._

"_Roxas, I'm gay too." He deadpanned me, punching my shoulder._

"_You asshole! How come you never told me?!"_

"_I just didn't think it would matter to you. You have a big heart, you know." He grew red, turning away. I smiled, and my crush on him grew that night._

_It was the moment I realized there'd be no complications as far as sexuality. However, I never realized his friendship would turn out to be bigger than that._

I finally made it to the top, Roxas sitting there as usual. I took my spot next to him, looking over his face carefully. This time, though, he was smiling—and I mean _really _smiling. His face looked like it'd split in two.

"So?" I questioned. "What's the big news, Rox?" he turned to me and grabbed my shoulders excitedly.

"GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, SORA!" I wracked my brain.

"Uh… you got a puppy? Invented a cure for cancer? What?"

He giggled at me. "Axel asked me on a date—_a __**date**_." My eyes grew wide and my breathing stopped. If I didn't know better, I'd say I had a heart attack.

"He… He did?" I swallowed, only no spit made its way down my throat. My mouth was cotton.

"Yes!" he yelled to me. "He said he thought I was cute, and that he really liked me, and OHMYGOSHSORA, I can't believe it! I might have a new boyfriend after tomorrow!"

Tomorrow. He would be lost forever to me tomorrow. Well, maybe not forever, but at least for a few months. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I almost wanted to jump off of the tower, but I had to be strong for Roxas.

I pulled out the pack of cigarettes I'd grabbed just in case this meeting was about something tragic that I knew I'd need them for; however, this was obviously not the case.

"Congratulatory cigarette, Rox?" I faintly laughed.

He smirked before taking one, and we lit up. For the first time in months, the nicotine gave me no release. I couldn't force on a smile. I just puffed and inhaled in silence, Roxas talking animatedly in my ear about Axel and how painfully perfect he was.

I wanted to die.

"So," he started, and my eyes drifted over to him, and the coldness from the night air seemed to migrate inside my body to my heart. He had no idea I was painstakingly in love with him—damnit.

"I thought you could come over tomorrow to help me get ready and stuff. Is that ok with you?" I forced on a grin for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Sure," I said.

On the walk home, I cried. I sobbed hysterically, and entered my house crying still. I fell asleep that way, not caring if I woke up the next day.

_AN:_

_*= I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but they are on winter break at the moment. It is December, and the last time we saw Axel it was October-ish, so Axel and Roxas have been talking._

_I hope this wasn't too bad! I hope you liked it!~ review pleaaaase._


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: This chapter will be in Sora's POV. This story will be taking a new direction in about 2 or 3 chapters I think, so bear with me! Also, I hope someone reads this, because I have a question. Should I finish up "Love is Mute" or start a completely new story? Or just FINISH this? Just asking ;)_

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own anything. Seriously. Nothing.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

The next morning came way too quickly. I woke up, groggy with only about 5 hours of sleep. My eyes were swollen and irritated from having cried until 5 in the morning. Suddenly I was his with a wave of nausea from remembering the previous night, and I ran to the toilet to empty my knotted stomach. I threw up mainly water for about 10 minutes before my body realized there was nothing left. I leaned against the coolness of the bowl, a headache immediately overpowering me. I got up after a few long minutes and decided on a shower. The hot stream scalded my skin, but I couldn't have given a fuck less. I stood there for what seemed like forever, pondering over last night's information.

"_I have a date with Axel."_

I shuddered remembering that I told him I'd help him get ready. I shampooed, conditioned, lathered, and rinsed, all in one huge cycle. I laughed silently to myself; my whole life seemed like one big, boring routine. I was going in circles, and I knew it.

Getting out, I wrapped an old towel around my waist and went back into my adjoining bedroom. I grabbed my phone, noting I had 2 missed calls from Roxas. I sighed, dialing his number. His voice immediately screeched in my ear.

"_Dude, what the fuck! You need to get over here ASAP!"_

I sighed, irritated at myself for agreeing to do this. There was seriously nothing worse I could be doing, and if there was, I'd rather partake in that than succumb to this self-mutilation known as Roxas.

"When is your date?" I asked, completely uninterested.

"_It's in almost 2 hours, so when you get ready, speed here. I'm freaking out."_

Even though Axel was stealing the love of my life away, I laughed. Really laughed. This kid was freaking out over a damn date? Wouldn't he love to know how I felt for once.

"Ok, chill. I'll be there in 15." I hung up, finally getting ready. I threw on some random-ass clothes; I don't care how Roxas sees me now that I'm out of the equation.

Getting to his house went by in a faint blur, and before I knew it I was standing at his door, my knuckles meeting the wooden exterior of his front door. I brushed a hand through my hair. I hated this so much. I wanted to cry, or to run. But I stayed for Roxas, who ever-so-kindly pulled open the door and grabbed my wrist, pulling me inside quickly.

"Dude," he said, "I have no idea what to wear, or what I should say, or how I should act, or—" I put a hand over his mouth to shut him up. Honestly, I never knew he could talk this fast.

"Calm. The fuck. Down." He blinked at me, and his chest heaved in a steady breath. I withdrew my hand from his chapped lips as he exhaled.

"First of all, put on some damn chapstik." He grew red. "You don't want him to think you've been making out with sandpaper, damn." I laughed at him as he punched me, instantly getting chapstik on his lips.

"What about clothes?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, genius, what are you doing?"

"Uhm," he thought, "we're seeing a movie. Then dinner." I sighed; how lame. It was the absolute most boring and classic date of all time. Joy.

"Here," I said, grabbing his wrist and leading him to the closet. I pulled out some khaki skinny jeans and a blue sweater that matched his eyes. He smiled at me, obviously liking the choice as much as I did.

"Shoes," he muttered to me.

"Ugh, Christ, here." I grabbed a plain black pair of vans and proceeded to chuck them at his face. Of course, I missed and hit him in the stomach, but oh well. He fumed silently and tugged on the garments and shoes.

"Normal hair?" He said. I rolled my eyes.

"No; grease it back," I said sarcastically. He hit me and laughed. I smiled back at him, though I'm not sure what for. In an hour, he'd be gone.

Suddenly I was broken out of my stupor by the sound of a doorbell chiming. I knit my brow together, looking at my watch. 12:35. Axel was about 15 minutes early. Shit.

Roxas shared my sentiment, but obviously enough not for the same reason. He gasped, running into his room.

"Wallet, keys, phone, platypus," I said in a teasing way, helping him mentally check off everything he needed.

"Platypus," he mused, trying to find said animal in his room somewhere. It took him a good minute of searching before realizing what I'd said.

"What the fuck, dude?!"

I laughed, a foreign sound to my dry throat. I laughed so hard I was crying, and Roxas joined me before heading out. I sobered up quickly after realizing what was going on. My Roxas, the one I'd loved for what seems like forever, was walking to the door. He was about to change everything.

I opened my mouth, ready to object, but no sound escaped my lips. Everything was in slow motion. His hand slowly grabbed the door handle, opening the door to show a charming redhead in its wake. My breath caught and my throat swelled shut. I forgot how to breathe for a few dragged-on moments.

"Axel!" Roxas exclaimed. Time warped back to the present, and suddenly Roxas was pushing me to Axel. I blinked confusedly.

"This is Sora, my best friend!" I scowled at the redhead, something that only went unnoticed by Roxas. Axel raised an eyebrow at me, contemplating my hatred for him.

"Uh, hiya, Sora! How goes it?" My scowl deepened and I let out a huff of irritation. I refused to talk to this asshole. He was old, and a bad guy, and completely wrong for Roxas.

"Roxas," I muttered. He looked to me, a smiled permanently staining his face.

"Yeah, dude?" I clapped his back, forcing a smile on my face. I felt my heart break a little more, if that was even possible.

"Have fun, stupid." He protested my asinine remark before finally leaving his house, Axel in tow behind him.

The dumb jerk grabbed his hand and led him to his fucking silver mustang. Fucking rich bastard opened the door for Roxas to which the blonde blushed. My scowl deepened again, and I could feel the tension in my face. I wanted to kill him. I wanted Roxas. I wanted to do so much. The mustang pulled out and I ran outside trying to get my legs to chase after them, to convince Roxas he loved me instead. I scoffed at myself for even bothering. My legs instead carried me to the one place I felt at ease: the clock tower.

I was sitting on the edge, looking into the blazing sun. I thought with how fucking freezing it was that it would snow, but alas, nothing happened. I shivered and drew into myself, resting my forehead between the arms resting on my knees. Forcing back the tears dulling my eyesight, I lit up a cigarette. I seemed to be going through more recently. The smoke emitting from my mouth was enigmatic, and I soon lost track of the time I spent sitting up there puffing away. By the time I realized what I was doing, I'd smoked 6 cigarettes and 3 hours had passed. I got up from my seat and walked home, too dazed and too depressed to even think about how my mother would react to me being gone all day. Maybe she'd be too drunk to notice, I hoped. I laughed in vain; my luck she'd be sitting there waiting for me, ready to yell at me for being gone so long "without notice." Of course, I gave her notice; she was just too drunk to remember. My steps slowed and I stopped. Tears were rolling down my frozen face, blinding me. I sobbed into my hands. What was wrong with me?! Why did all the bad shit in life keep piling on top of me—**ME, **god damn it! I cried for another 30 minutes, not giving a damn about what my mother would say, or if Roxas was being fucked into a mattress somewhere. I just gave up and walked back home, sniffles and hiccups being the only sound to ring through my ears. Hopefully I could just graduate soon and leave here, no questions asked. Maybe life would look up, then.

_AN:_

_So, Sora's still really depressed. Damn. This will be looking up soon, I promise._

_I wanted to know if anyone was interested in seeing the date between Axel and Roxas? If not, I won't waste time writing it. There WILL be an epic twist soon, and I can't wait to make you guys shit your pants! XD love you all~_ _please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: Ok so guys. I asked, and all of you wanna see the date… but only if it sucked! XD I was literally laughing out loud to your reviews hahaha! I guess this will be sort of filler, but the end will be pretty important for next chapter. This chapter and the next one are probably going to make you guys hate me… BUT I have to do it for the plot! So, happy belated Thanksgiving if you celebrate it and I hope you enjoy this newest installment! _

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own anything. Seriously. Nothing.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

Roxas POV

When Axel showed me his sweet car, I was flabbergasted. It was a real beaut alright, and I had no idea he had the kind of wealth to afford it. I hoped in, and he immediately broke the ice.

"So, Roxy, what movie are we gonna see?" He pulled the clutch into first gear and I panicked. I had no idea I was supposed to be choosing! Feeling my face turn red, I stammered.

"I actually have no idea, Axel. I thought you were going to pick." He hummed in acknowledgement.

"Well," he said, smiling, "when we get there we can pick one together!" He looked pointedly at me with a grin on his face, and I gladly returned a smile back to him.

When we got to the theater, we stood outside in the cold holding hands looking at movie posters, trying to decide on a movie. We ended up picking Skyfall, the new 007 movie. The movie was pretty lengthy considering it was a James Bond movie, but the action and lust had me completely attentive. We shared a soda and some candy, and before I knew it the credits were rolling. Grabbing my hand, Axel led me back to his ride. Axel looked at me, almost hungrily. I realized he might have been hungry and remembered we were supposed to eat.

"So," I stammered, "where to now? Have any food in mind?" He coughed and put the car back into first, quickly pulling out of the parking lot. Placebo was playing softly in the background, words of a "sweet prince" muttering through the speakers.

"It's a surprise, Roxy dear." He laughed quietly and I was left wondering where we were headed. About 20 minutes and a short car ride into downtown later and we were parking in the lot of a seemingly fancy restaurant that I'd never heard of. I noted that I probably hadn't heard of it due to not having the funds to even think about coming. Worriedly, I looked to Axel.

"Axel?" I breathed.

"Yes?" he drawled.

I scrunched my brow together, confused. "Are we… We're not eating _here,_ are we?" He blinked a couple of times, confused himself.

"Why? You don't like this place? I have to say, it's my favorite place downtown, Rox."

I shook my head rapidly. "No, not that. It just looks expensive is all."

He laughed whole-heartedly and wiped faux tears from his emerald eyes. "Oh, Roxas, that's too rich—no pun intended. I come from a wealthy family; this isn't anything. I promise."

"O-Oh," I said, gasping. "Well then," I continued, "let's eat! I'm starved!"

He laughed at me some more, my face turning red. Axel seemed to laugh at me a lot, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. The smile on his face was alluring, though, so I guess I didn't mind it too much.

Once we sat down to eat, I quickly found out how expensive this place really was. Thirty bucks for a damn _gourmet _burger! What the fuck! How was a burger gourmet!? I sighed, looking through the options. The burger was the cheapest, so I ordered that guiltily. I hate going on dates and then costing a fortune. It made me feel like a burden, and that was one feeling that I could never shrug off. My mood lightened, however, when Axel ordered the fifty dollar lobster. 'Damn,' I thought, 'this food better have been made by Jesus himself with how much it costs.'

Two hours and a huge tab later, we were headed out again. It was about eight 'o'clock by this point, and I was worn out by a great first date. I thought we were headed back to my house, but after a few miles, I realized we were nowhere near that direction.

"Axel," I muttered, "where are we going?"

He sighed, "Well, I thought we could go back to my place and do… something else." I wish I had caught the faint smirk on his face. However, my naïve mind was racing, thinking of what 'something' could be. Maybe we'd play video games or something. I had no idea.

Once we pulled into the apartment complex, he cut off the engine and caught my eye with a devilish smirk. I turned red for some reason, and yet again I paid too much attention to the background. Placebo was still going on through the speakers, and I realized the song was "My Sweet Prince." The sound was almost eerie, and a shudder wracked my spine. Axel opened his door with me following suit, my short legs striding after him.

We climbed the stairs almost too quickly, and my breathing was becoming labored against the harsh cold infiltrating my lungs. He took out a keychain full of tokens and keys and unlocked his pale brown door. I followed him in, and in the darkness hot lips met mine.

The feeling of lips on my mouth scared me, although the feeling wasn't unpleasant. At first, it was gentle, and I welcomed the sensation. I felt the door close and heat from inside the complex wash over me, and I noticed that it was still dark.

"Axel," I spoke breathily. My fists wrapped themselves in his shirt, and my head collided with the now-closed door. I gasped, and he took that moment to shove his tongue in my mouth. My eyes widened as I felt the organ sloppily mingle with my own. A shudder rode throughout my body, and I felt my face heat up. We parted for air, and he attacked my neck. I put a hand in his flaming red hair and pulled on the soft spikes.

"Axel, what are you—" he cut me off with a bite. His teeth were harsh and unrelenting, and I yelped in pain like a kicked puppy.

"Hey, Axel, that really hurt!" He ignored me and pushed up my shirt. Alarms and bells went off in my head, and I realized what was happening in this moment. Axel wanted to have sex.

"Axel, what are you doing? This is—ah—too far!" Teeth clamped down on my erect nipple and I groaned in pain and pleasure. I was panicking now, not knowing if he'd stop.

"Axel, I-I'm telling you no!" Axel finally stopped and grabbed a fist full of my blonde locks. He shoved his body into mine, and my back collided painfully with the cold steel of the door.

"Roxas, can you please shut up? I'm trying to work here." He punctuated the word "work" with a thrust of his hips into mine, and I gasped as I felt his erection on my side. Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes, and my back slid down the wall.

Axel took this as an invitation and proceeded to kiss me again. Teeth clashed with mine, his tongue poked my own. I didn't respond, just sat there. That got him aggravated, and soon he was ripping off my shirt and licking at my nipples and navel. I shuddered, not knowing what to do, other than tell him no. But what happened when that wasn't enough. Hands greedily pulled at my belt, and my awareness shook me.

"Axel, I really want you to stop, please." My beg became a cry and hot tears began to escape from my lids.

"But, Roxas," he huskily breathed into my ear, "you seem so aroused. It must be painful. Let me take care of you." He left a bittersweet kiss to my temple, and I cried some more. Then, he shoved a warm hand down my pants and touched me. I cried out, half in pleasure and half in fear.

"I r-really don't n-need you to take c-care of anyth-thing, Axel-l." I muttered.

Ignored, he pushed down my pants. Warm lips met my arousal, and I moaned. I wanted to die in that moment; I was admitting I liked it. I had imagined this going so much differently. If he had just waited, I would have readily given this to him. His head bobbed, and I shook. Knotting a hand into his mane, I covered my mouth with the other in order not to moan or gasp aloud any more. Before I released, he removed all other garments blocking his entry to my hole. My lip quivered, and more tears streaked my face. A slick digit entered me, and I cried out in pain. A few more fingers and thrusts, and he considered me prepared. When his throbbing dick entered me, I felt like I was splitting in two. This must have been what dying felt like. Soon he worked up a pace, and his grunts mixed in with my cries of discomfort and pleasure. He released inside of me and jerked me off until I followed suit. I lay there, stomach down, when he seemed to exit out of whatever haze he was in. I was still crying, and he knit his brow together.

"Rox, why are you crying?" In saying this, he only made me cry harder. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want him looking at me anymore, I didn't want him to pretend to like me.

"Roxas? Are you ok?" He tried to lay a hand on my back, and I flinched.

Furiously I snapped at him. "Get the fuck off of me!"

I shot up and fell back over onto my ass after feeling the agony that was my lower back course through me. I cried out, and his eyes widened.

"Roxas, I… I didn't mean to—"

"Mean to WHAT?!" I screamed. Tears were blurring my vision, and I scrambled to shove clothing on my shaking form. "You—You RAPED m-me!"

He put a hand to his mouth, scared and anxious. I didn't care what he felt. I just wished he felt as sick as I did.

"Roxas, I didn't know what I was doing! I thought you liked it!"

My face turned purple in rage, and my fists clenched so hard that I felt blood begin to surface in what I knew would be tiny crescents from my nails.

"I SAID STOP, YOU BASTARD! I SAID STOP AT LEAST FOUR TIMES! I WAS CRYING! HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE?!"

His mouth clenched shut and I picked that moment to storm out. I pulled on my jacket once my fired-up skin met with the cold. My sobs were stronger than ever.

Running—I was running down some street, in some town, away from the danger that I'd just been a part of. I threw up a few times, but I lost count of how many times my bile met cold pavement. My eyes quit producing tears at some point, but I was still shaking, still hyperventilating. I sat down and tried to cry some more, but nothing happened.

I pulled out my cellphone and scrolled through the contacts. Dialing the number on the screen, I was nervously calling the one person I knew I could count on at eleven, or really at any time at all. The voice on the other line resonated through my ears, and the tears I'd lost began pouring out at that moment. I was terrified that anyone would answer, and I almost didn't know what to say.

"_Roxas? Hello?"_

"S-Sora," I shakily whispered.

"_Rox? What's wrong? Where are you?"_

Heaving and shaking, I wiped tears from my face and sobbed directly into the mouthpiece.

"Come pick me up. I have no idea where I a-am. The s-sign here says Greenway Boulevard. I think I'm in Twilight Central."

"_Ok, I'll come get you. What's near you, Roxas?"_

I looked around dazedly, noticing my surroundings for the first time. Hiccupping I replied, "A gas station and a Publix. Please… Please h-help m-me, Sora."

"_Of course, Rox. Of course I'll help you. Don't move, I'll be right there, ok?"_

"Ok," I muttered. Pressing the button to hang up, I hugged myself in a failed attempt to stay warm. My mind seemed blank, but in the inner corners in the back of my head a song faintly played on. It was "My Sweet Prince," the eerie tune I'd heard in Ax—_his _ car. The lyrics were screaming at me even though the song itself was mellow.

"_My sweet prince, you are the one…"_

"Sora," my chapped lips crackled, "please, God, help me…"

Black shadows and sleep were my only response.

AN:

_I told you you'd hate me! I had this planned for a while… I love Axel, but I couldn't think of anyone else to do the deed, per se. Next chapter will be Sora's POV and we'll see how this affects them both. Until next time, lovelies. Reviews make me happy… c:_


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: Uh, last chapter was intense. I started getting shaky writing it, to be honest. I had to visualize poor Roxas getting raped. I hated doing that, but I figured Axel needed to be completely cut out of the picture. Sadly, he'll still be around for a while; you'll see why soon. This chapter is in Sora's POV and I think it will stay that way for a while. Whose POV do you like more? Review and tell me, please. Anyways. A ton of you guys reviewed last chapter and told me you still loved me. Yay! That made me happy c: anyways, here is the next chapter! Also, merry early Christmas!_

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: My pockets have been empty for a while, unlike my head.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

Sometimes unexplainable shit happens in your life that makes you wonder: "what did I do to deserve this?" I asked myself on a daily basis what I did to make God or whatever higher deity resided in the clouds what it was I did wrong. We as people don't necessarily need to be corrupt in this life to have karma teabag us in the mouth. At least, that's how I see it; bad things happen to good people. That's the only way I could some up what had just happened.

Roxas had just called me, and it was nearing eleven thirty. The sky was pitch-black, and the weather was dreadfully chilled. My bones shook in their sockets and it wasn't only from the cold. I was anxious and scared; I had no idea why Roxas had called me crying hysterically, screaming for help. This had never, I repeat, _never _happened to me before. Roxas was hurt, and I grimaced knowing I could have stopped it. Well, maybe I couldn't have; but the thought stung more than any scrape or physical assault could have yielded on my body. It was almost twelve when I arrived at the aforementioned Greenway Boulevard where Roxas lay motionless on the cold cement. I put the car in park hastily and bolted out towards him.

"Roxas?" My voice came out strangled. He gave no response.

"Roxas!" I yelled. My knees slammed onto the hard ground and I felt the flesh there scrape and tear. I shook his shoulder to wake him up. His name kept rolling off of my tongue in frantic chanter.

"Roxas, buddy, I need you to wake up." Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and I was becoming—no, I was already—worried to the point of being sick. Suddenly he jolted awake and sat upright almost colliding with my face.

"AXEL, NO!" I grabbed his hand in mine and gave it a tender squeeze. He dizzily looked at me before falling backwards again. Catching him, I cradled his head in my arms.

"Roxas, what happened?" Sapphire met cerulean and my breath caught. I didn't expect the cold deadness laced with fear that he kept in his eyes.

"Sora," he muttered, "'M cold. Take me home, please." I carried him to my car and reclined him in the seat. With the car still running I put the heat on full blast. His eyes closed and he fell into darkness once more.

With a sigh I shut the door and headed back to my place. Something told me that when Roxas woke up again he'd freak out, so I left him to freak out in the comfort of someone else's arms. It was selfish intent, really; I just wanted to sleep next to him. In the silence of night, I held the boy I loved tenderly, and it was hours later that I let sleep take me. My dreams were filled with unknown terrors of Roxas; losing Roxas, Roxas running away, Roxas dying in millions of different ways. I had no idea what had happened, and I was afraid to find out. I know Axel must have done something terrible by Roxas's outburst earlier that night.

Waking up by the one you loved was supposed to be a pleasant experience, or so I've been told. This morning when I saw Roxas's angelic face next to mine, I wanted to cry at the innocence his faced had seemed to have lost overnight. In fact, that's what I did: I silently sobbed, pleading for him to be okay. It was around seven in the morning, and around that time was when my sleeping beauty awoke from his slumber. His eyes cracked open, and my arms loosened for fear of him panicking.

"Sora," he squeaked.

"It's okay now, Roxas. Are you okay? What happened last night? I found you passed out in the road." A frown broke my face, and Roxas rolled onto his back now fully awake. I moved my limbs from his torso and joined him on my back, turning to face him.

"Roxas?" He didn't bother looking at me as tears soundlessly streamed down his face.

"Axel… He," he drew in a shaking breath before closing his eyes and immediately covering the in a sob.

"Axel r-raped me last night, Sora." Roxas's words were fragmented by a soul-crushing sob, and I instantaneously wrapped my arms around him in comfort. He turned his body into mine and shook, and I cried along with him. I didn't know what to say, how to react. Roxas was my everything, but now it was like I loved the shell of a broken boy.

"He wasn't," I started. I swallowed nonexistent spit, and my throat crackled in irritation. "He wasn't your first, was he, Roxas?"

The shell sniffled and looked into my eyes. My breath caught, and he answered with a whisper.

"Yes, he was the first. My virginity… was stolen…" I gasped inaudibly and squeezed his back. Grabbing his head, I shoved his face into my chest.

"Roxas," I said, "I will fix this. I don't care if I have to murder the bastard; he _will _pay." Roxas drew back from me, and terror filled his face.

"No!" he screamed. Perplexed, my eyebrows raised on their own accord.

"What, Roxas?"

"You can't kill him! You'll go to prison, and I'll never see you again, and I'll be _alone_! I can't _be alone_, Sora! Don't l-leave me like that!"

A sad smile crept onto my face, my fingers grazed through his sweat-matted locks.

"Roxas, I love you, and I'd never leave you alone. But you will get justice, alright?" He nodded slowly and his eyes were downcast. Not standing for that, I grabbed his chin softly and looked into his watery eyes.

"Hey, I mean it. Everything… It will all be okay soon." Apprehensively, I asked the important questions that had to be said.

"Now, Rox," I started slowly, "have you showered since… since…" He shook his head.

"No," Roxas whispered, "but I really want to. I feel like _filth_." He was about to get up before I grabbed his wrist calmly. Blue eyes that used to be full of innocent happiness met my own worry-filled glass orbs.

"Don't," I said. Roxas's mouth was agape, and I soon saw unyielding anger arise on his stony face.

"But I—"

"We need to go to the police. You'll still have evidence on you, and… and in you." Roxas choked on his own saliva and whimpered helplessly. My eyes slipped closed as I let go of his wrist, and silence poured into the room. When my eyes opened, he had sat down on my bed silently.

"Fine," he murmured. "Let's go." And to the station we went.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

_I know this is incredibly short, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to get something out for you guys, even if it is short… I hate how depressing this is, but it needs it, you know? Also, I need to know if you guys would like me to show the boys at the station in depth or if you'd just like me to mention it every so often. Whatever you guys prefer, I'll try. Please review, and also pray (if you do that; I for one do not) for the kids in Connecticut. _


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: I think I might stay in Sora's POV for a while. I may only use Roxas to show his instability. I don't know. I haven't had much inspiration lately, and when I finally wanted to write, my computer crashed. So everything had to be wiped, and I lost all my previous works and the half-written chapter that I am now re-writing for you guys, right here. Please bear with me, and I'll give you guys something awesome. I want to point out this is my longest story ever, and I'm so glad you guys have stayed to read it._

_Also, MidnightxMusic asked, "What about Axel's girlfriend?" Well, you see, that will be answered. I didn't forget here, I promise. Stay tuned, and you'll see. –laughs evilly- Now on tho the next chapter!_

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own.

**X**

You know that feeling you get when your heart lurches into your feet, your breathing becomes shallow, and it's like every organ in your body has completely shut down? That's how I feel, except it's not just one moment of weakness—it's prolonged, and forgoing. Roxas and I walked into the busy station, and immediately the thought of "well, shit, I guess the media lied about police stations," erupted in my mind. The station wasn't full of men and women detectives in suits with glimmering badges, it was filled with stern old guys and dainty looking secretaries seated in their desks shuffling paperwork, blabbering on the phone occasionally. We sauntered over to the nearest desk, a petite redhead sitting in her suede chair. She glanced at us with a bored expression, huffing almost at our existence.

"May I help you?" she droned, and it took brute force not to scream in her wrinkled face. Roxas's hand tightened into my shirt, and I was unable to tell if he was scared or angry like me.

"We need to… make a report." I gulped, hot spit coating my dry throat. Roxas looked to the floor, and I suppose the dumbass woman in front of me finally put two and two together.

"Right this way," she whispered, and we were taken into a deserted white room. I laughed internally; it looked more like a mental institution than an interview room. We sat on the cold metal bench displayed before a matching table, and she spoke before leaving.

"A detective will be right in." A tight-lipped smile tugged at her face, and I wanted to vomit. I couldn't tell if she was actually sincere or posing as our "friend." Either way, she was being a nuisance and I didn't want her to come back.

Roxas looked down at the ground and muttered, "I hope this one isn't a… a redhead." My eyes widened in realization, and I felt completely stupid for not noticing his discomfort earlier. I wrapped my arm around his should in attempt to comfort him, and my embrace was met with a content sigh. I smiled slightly before a knock resounded through the room.

A man surprisingly in his late twenties opened the door, and thankfully he wasn't redheaded but instead a brunette. Slowly a blonde man crept in behind him, and the two detectives sat on the other side of the table in front of us.

"Hello," the brunette began, looking pointedly to Roxas and then settling his gaze on me. I looked him over thoroughly; a scar ran from the middle of his forehead at a slant to just above his right eye. He looked disheveled, almost as if keeping a roused sex-appeal going, and I noted his toned muscles. His partner coughed, and I directed my gaze to a man that almost looked like Roxas but fifteen years or so older. The brunette started speaking again, and my attention was drawn.

"My name is Squall, but you can call me Leon. Actually, you really must call me Leon—I hate 'Squall.'" He pointed his thumb to the man beside him, adding "this here is Cloud. He's my partner, and we're here to see what you're reporting. If it's valid, we'll be the ones investigating it." Leon, as the man wished to be called, was met with an awkward silence. Cloud sighed before murmuring.

"Well? Which one of you is reporting something? Don't make us waste our time, here."

I looked to Roxas, worry eating away at my face. "Go on, Rox, tell them what happened." I grabbed his hand, and when he looked to me, a slight smile itched on my face. He sucked in a shallow breath before looking pointedly at Leon and Cloud.

"I was raped last night. It was around ten or eleven, I think." The men exchanged glances before Cloud spoke up, leaning over the table as if he was deaf or something.

"Do you know who he or she was?" I scoffed silently at the idea of a cougar raping Roxas. No way in Hell.

"His name… His name is Axel Davidson. We were on a date and suddenly—suddenly he went ballistic. He took me to his place without asking, and before I knew it, he… he…" Roxas bit his lip, and reassuringly I rubbed the back of his palm with my calloused thumb.

"It's okay, Rox," I murmered. Roxas looked back towards the men, tears set in his eyes.

"I, uhm—I didn't shower. You know, if you need a rape kit or anything…" Leon's breath audibly hitched, and I wondered how many times the detectives had this happen in the times working in the force.

Leon stood, notepad and pencil in hand, and he briskly walked to our side of the table. His strong hand thudded onto Roxas's back.

"Well, we'll get that from you this afternoon. Axel will be in custody by nightfall, don't you worry, kid." Cloud abruptly stood, this meeting suddenly coming to an end.

"Roxas, Sora," he started. I confusedly scrunched my face together, not remembering if I told them our names or not. Seeing my confusion, Cloud laughed haughtily.

"I know your names from around town. I see you guys at your workplaces every so often. Hard to forget faces and names in a business like ours." I blinked, suddenly feeling idiotic for not realizing that fact.

"Anyway," he began once again, "I'll escort you two to the hospital. We'll fill out paperwork there, too, if that's okay." Roxas nodded silently, uncaring.

Cloud raised his brow before looking to me. "That's fine," I said.

The brunette walked towards me, and the feeling of fear I normally got from officers began to arise in my chest.

"Do his parents know?" I scoffed.

"Of course not, idiot. If they did, they'd probably be here, don't you think?" He blinked at me before laughing, and my face scrunched up in embarrassment as I realized I'd just called this man an idiot. God, I was a lost cause today.

"Well, we'll have to tell them—"

"No!" Roxas shouted. The air in the room became dense, and we were met with awkward silence once again.

He swallowed heavily, and abruptly he spoke. "I turn eighteen on the thirteenth," he muttered, "which is in four days, if you didn't realize that already. It's my legal right to keep this from them."

A thought resounded in my mind, a thought that made me angrier than Axel, my mother, or my deadbeat dad could ever have given me; I almost forgot my fucking best friend's birthday. I was too caught up in myself, and him, and that fucking prick _Axel _to realize… Fuck.

Leon looked at Cloud, then they both looked at me, to at Roxas, then back to me. A chuckle erupted out of my throat, and the three men standing in the tight space stared airily at me. My laugh has been said to be contagious, and in that moment that fact was proved correct. A chorus of laughter rand out in the room from Roxas and I, the grown men staring at us confusedly. I took Roxas around the shoulders before we walked out of the door that Leon had ever-so-graciously held open. Shrugging, the detectives followed us out.

Not long after the visit to the station, we were checked into the hospital. Roxas lay on white sheets, wrapped in nothing except the plastic blue and white excuse for a gown that the hospital faculty provided. Although looking mildly angelic enraptured in all white, the blonde broke the image with a shaky frown on his face. He was obviously scared and obviously hating being cooped up in a cold, hard bed probed with God-knows-what the nurses used to check for fluids. My head was cradled in my hands as I sat in the lone wooden chair the room was adorned with.

"Sora," Roxas croaked. My eyes snapped up to him, and my body soon followed. My legs carried me to his bedside, and finally I saw his smile grace his features. My own tired grin flashed to him, and my hand met his.

"Yeah, Rox?" He chewed on the inside of his cheek, nerves being eaten away along with dead tissue.

"Thank you, for—for saving me." Gasping, I stepped back a bit in shock. A blushed heated my ears, and I looked away to hide it.

"Roxas, I—I'm just here for you, like always." Roxas tightened his grip on my hand, and my eyes met his slowly.

"Not like always, Sor; this is too big just to be "like always." I'm being such a nuisance, and I just… I wanted to thank you for dealing with me."

I rarely ever got mad at Roxas. I rarely ever raised my voice at anything or anyone, let alone Roxas. I don't know if what he said or how he said it got to me, but either way, I found myself retracting my hand and knotting my brow together in an angry scowl.

"Damnit, Roxas, you're not a nuisance! You're perfect just the way you, are, okay? I will _not _let _anyone_ talk about you that way, not even yourself." Roxas tried to get a word in, but I wasn't having it, not now. "No, Roxas, this is all Axel's fault. He's the one I wish so badly that I didn't have to deal with! He deserves to rot, and _you _deserve happiness. So don't tell me, Roxas," I turned to him, anger fading away quickly, "that I'm "just dealing with you." You're not a nuisance, not ever. You're—you're my best friend."

Silence resounded through the room, and after a while I doubted myself and immediately hated existing. Roxas surely hate me. I know it, I know it, I know it—

A sob broke the silence, and in that moment I knew I'd have to die somehow. Surely he didn't hate me? Did he? Didn't he?

"I love you, Sora. I love you so much." My heart warmed at the thought, and I found myself climbing into the tiny bed with him. My arms wrapped around his shaking frame. I found myself tearing up myself, and all thought of detectives and paperwork being brought up soon had left my mind.

"I know, Roxas. I love you too." He only sobbed harder into my shirt, clinging to the damp fabric. My arms reflexively tightened around him and gripped the back of his gown, the plastic crunching noisily in my fingers. "Shh," I murmured, "go to sleep." And so the blonde slept quietly, my hands running through his hair all the while.

When Leon and Cloud arrived, I let Roxas rest while I filled out everything with them myself. I was told we could leave, and hummed in response. I sat dully in the wooden chair, watching Roxas calmly breathe in and out, wondering how long I'd have to wait to see him this serene again. My mind chimed, "it's calm just before the storm." Sighing, I walked to lay back down with him and wait until he rose from slumber. Laying there I wondered what exactly the storm would bring us this time around.

**X**

_I hate the way this ended, like no joke. I couldn't find a way to just leave it off, so it ended sloppily. My apologies. Also, Axel's girlfriend will make an appearance next chapter. First review to correctly guess the mystery woman gets a one-shot of your desire as long as it's either KH, FFXIII, or Avatar related. Any genre, characters, anything. It can be fluff, lemon, you name it and I'll write it, but only a _one shot. _Anyways, I missed you guys and I hope you like this story so far!_


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Hello again! Just wondering: do you guys think I'm a girl or guy writer? I'll give whoever guesses right a… cookie? That reminds me! Two reviewers guessed right about Axel's girlfriend, and I'm not sure who won because you both said exactly the same thing at the same time and neither of you just picked ONE girl, so… I'll give both of you a one-shot! Who won? Drum roll, please! Tenshi Yami- Angel of Darkness and Takura Yume both get one-shots! I'll message you both, and you can each give me a prompt. Make it as hot as you can while you can!

^I made that AN a month ago. I'm so sorry ;A; I've been so busy, and that's no excuse, but I'll make this one extra-long in apology. So yep! By the way, my English class just finished The Great Gatsby, and I am inspired, finally. Enjoy.

Warning: Sexual themes, angsty teenage drama, drug/alcohol abuse, and maybe more. Rated M.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own.

**X**

The process in which we had to find Roxas an attorney, go through court dates, and relive his gruesome was a long and dreadful one. The lawyer they had chosen, a stoic young man who had never lost any of the few cases he had been dealt, was a man by the name of Luxord. The gentleman had clean-cut features, those of which being a hard jaw rimmed with flaxen facial hair, the same color as the wispy locks on his head. The man was in his early thirties, and although being new to the courtroom setting, he was known as a hard-iron fist which his opposers feared would crush them mercilessly in the courtroom. They'd met with Luxord numerous times over the last month, trying to settle what had happened, when they'd go to court, and who should be subpoenaed as witnesses. I was to be called to the stand, even though I hardly knew anything.

Roxas had hardly noted anything Luxord said, barely ever communicating with the man in these brief meetings. His head was in the clouds as of late, and I duly realized he wouldn't be the same boy I knew for a long while to come.

"Roxas, we're going to trial tomorrow," Luxord announced once he sat in the swivel chair on the opposite side of the table from us. Roxas was currently fidgeting with the hem of his polyester shirt. I nudged him softly, and his eyes awoke to read Luxord's face.

His cracked lips opened and he audibly swallowed, "Alright. That sounds fine to me. Should I do anything, or do I just show up?" I sighed to myself, partly in frustration and partly in sadness. It was obvious Rox hadn't been listening to Luxord at all during these meetings.

Luxord's face scrunched up in annoyance, a scowl played tightly on his face. "I see you've forgotten. That's ok—I'll remind you." He licked his lips before continuing. "All you need to do is show up. Do not lie, do not under-exaggerate, just tell the whole truth. After your turn is over, others will be called to the stand. They may lie, they may corroborate you as someone you are not," he leaned forward, and intense stare locked on my best friend, "but you are not, under no circumstances, allowed to say anything aloud to the jury during their testimony. Do you understand?" Roxas took all of this in for a presumed second time and solemnly nodded his head in confirmation.

As we walked out of the dimly lit office building, Roxas sat on the stone steps, his head angled toward the sky. As hopeful as I could tell he wanted to be, depression was etched onto his boyish features. I'd often wondered, as I noticed this, if he could see the love and worry marring my own aged face.

He laughed grimly, and I was awakened from my stupor with a fright.

"You know what, Sora?" I swallowed, suddenly noticing the dryness in my throat.

"What, Roxas?" I claimed a seat beside him, close enough for comfort but farther away than I'd wanted. He looked to me with a sad face, although not the dead state of sadness I'd grown accustomed to. This sadness was laced with light despair, the solemn kind of sadness you get when you see someone's dog missing on the light-pole outside your house, the kind everyone notices but says nothing about for they do not head its normalcy. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach, for the Roxas I knew never had this look placed upon his face.

"Last week was my eighteenth birthday."

X

The court date was today, and as apprehensive as I was, Roxas was the complete opposite. He had a small smile, a rarity as of late, and suddenly the world seemed much brighter in comparison to the beginning of this month. When I asked why he was so happy, he only gripped my shoulder with a firm palm and said, "Today I get justice."

The room was far different than any Law and Order setup I had ever seen. There was no dramatics, just a lightly decorated, pale room with a jury booth and seat for a judge. There was a small table for Roxas and Luxord to sit at. Unfortunately, I had to sit in the row behind Roxas; I wasn't part of this case (excluding my role as witness), therefore I could not sit next to him in front of the "peers" that were there to judge his trial.

"All rise for the honorable judge Xemnas." We rose as a frighteningly tall, tan man entered the room. He was wearing the traditional black judge's robe, his long, white hair tied behind him in a low ponytail.

He boomed over the courtroom in a dark, silky voice, "You may be seated." Fear quickly wracked my body. I had come to the conclusion that this was real, and the finality hit me like a ton of bricks to the face. I let out a breath I'd not realized I'd been holding and looked to my love. Roxas still seemed unfazed in the slightest, and that scared me even more. I just hoped he wouldn't choke on stand, gasping on events that plagued him for nearly a month.

"All right counselors," the judge announced slowly, "you may present your opening statements. Luxord," Xemnas led the man in.

Luxord was slow to stand, making a dramatic entry. He gave the jury a once-over, pacing in front of their seats.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," he began, "this case is one of the most obvious I have ever dealt with, and hopefully you see it the same way. This boy," an index finger pointed to Roxas, "was assaulted and raped after a first and last date was offered by the accused. This man belittled him, pinned him to the wall, and stole his innocence." Luxord stopped his argument there and sat down next to Roxas while the jury shakily took in the case before them.

Axel's lawyer, a salt-and-pepper-haired, middle-aged man stood and lazily walked to the jury.

"Ladies, gentlemen, we know how this goes. You've all seen it before, and this won't be the last time, either. A couple engage in sex and little red cries wolf so his parents won't look down upon him. The defendant never did anything the "victim" didn't want, and we have witnesses and evidence to prove this." He sat, and I pondered about what "evidence" they could possibly have.

Soon after, Roxas was called to the stand. His hand was placed on the Bible as he solemnly swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but. As he sat down Xemnas gave him a wary glance, unsure if this young boy was ready for the hardships of this trial. Axel's lawyer was the first to question him, and meanwhile I was biting my nails to fine stubs in anxiousness.

"So, Roxas, how did you meet Axel?" Roxas swallowed and glanced toward the aforementioned redhead before answering.

"We worked together for months."

"And during those months, did either of you communicate outside of work?"

He thought for a moment, "No, I don't believe so. It was about a month before the incident when I asked for his number so we could hang out."

The lawyer paused in pseudo-thought before cocking his head to Roxas. "So, you sought him out. Did you willingly go into this for sex?"

"Objection, your honor!" Luxord stood. "He's leading him."

"Sustained," Xemnas retorted. "Continue, Xigbar."

"Alright, so you liked him then?"

Roxas fidgeted and eyed the jury. He didn't know how his answer would affect him, and neither did I. "I did, but I wasn't going to pursue him. I just wanted to talk."

"But when he asked you out, what did you want to happen then?"

"Well, I just wanted a date—a dinner and a movie—and I thought that's what we were doing."

Xigbar, as the man was called, pursed his lips and gave Roxas a cold stare. This man had me anxious; he seemed like one hell of a good lawyer, despite his ungodly appearance.

"Axel had asked you that night if you wanted to go to his place and have some fun. You said yes, didn't you?" Before Roxas could answer he continued, "He implied sex and you willingly went into his home, knowing what would happen correct?"

"I didn't know—" he began, near tears. Xigbar interrupted once more.

"Didn't know? I have text messages from you to my client talking about sex repeatedly. Did you not know of your innuendos then, or what? You were leading my client on weren't you?" He handed the transcripts to Xemnas who glanced at them before setting them down on his bench.

"I was just messing around," Roxas mumbled.

"Obviously," Xigbar scoffed, "and you planned on messing around all that night, too." He walked away, moving to sit. "Your witness," he called to Luxord.

Roxas shakily inhaled, the water sticking to his eyelashes from tearing up. Luxord gave him an apologetic look, signaling he was sorry for the attack.

"Roxas," he drawled, "you liked the accused before all this mess, correct?"

"Yes," he stammered.

"That is perfectly natural. You two had worked together for almost a year, correct?"

"That's correct."

"And those messages from earlier—weren't they all blatantly obvious jokes that were first initiated by the defendant?"

"Yes, sir." Roxas was slowly gaining his courage back, and my heart warmed for him. He was doing so well, and I couldn't wait to hug him after this.

"Tell me what happened that night," Luxord demanded. Roxas took a deep breath, looked to Axel, then the jury.

"We had just seen a movie. Axel wanted to know if I'd like to do something fun at his place. I just thought he meant play video games or something. I had no idea he was being sexual." Axel furrowed his brow, the first sign of emotion I'd seen from him while being here.

"We walked in and he immediately tackled me against the door, kissing me and pulling at my clothes. I…" He stopped to fidget with his shirt; he was nervous, and all of those locked memories came flooding back.

"I asked him nicely to stop at first. Then we moved to the floor where he removed all my clothes, and I kept telling him to stop. He touched me all over and said I liked it, even though I told him I wasn't. He… He touched my…" Embarrassed, he stopped.

"Your genitals?" Luxord provided.

"Yes. Then he stuck it in me, and he kept going while I was screaming and crying. I just kept asking him to stop, and it almost was like he never heard me. He kept saying I was screaming because I wanted it, but I really didn't."

Luxord took all of this in for a second time and turned to the jury before circling around to Roxas.

"Tell us what happened next, Roxas."

"I ran out as soon as I could pull my clothes on and just kept running until I thought I was far enough away from him. I called Sora, my best friend, to pick me up before passing out in pain on the sidewalk."

Luxord waltzed over to his bench before retrieving a small box, presumably Roxas's rape kit, and handed the evidence to Xemnas.

"Roxas didn't shower that night or the next morning, and a rape kit was taken. This shows that there was trauma to his genitals and rectum along with the accused's DNA."

"Thank you, Luxord," Xemnas mumbled deeply.

He cleared his throat before sighing loudly. "Luxord, are you done with this witness?" The man nodded and sat as Xemnas pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly.

"All right, this trial will resume in 2 days on the 10th at eleven AM sharp. You are dismissed," he hit his gavel and everyone stood to leave.

Roxas walked towards me and I met him halfway in a giant embrace.

"Oh, Rox, you did so well! I'm so proud of you for doing this. The worst part is over, I promise." I smiled at him earnestly and I was met with a sheepish grin from him.

"Thanks, Sor, I couldn't have done this without you." I looped my arm around his shoulder as we walked out. In the distance, unseen by my eyes, were venomous green eyes targeting our every move.

**X**

AN: I hope you guys liked this! At 2.5K words, you'd better have XD

Review and I'll love you forever :D


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